sleeplessness

i watched fight club long time back. then i watched it again, and again; so many times that i have its dialogues memorized. it was an awesome movie by the way.
insomnia is a bitch. in insomnia, you arent really asleep, and you arent really awake.
now i guess i know what he meant.i'm in the same state of mind at the moment. i am very sleepy. yet i cant sleep.
i turn on my computer again. log onto msn. nobody is online. log off.
i log on to orkut. try to scribble junk in scrapbooks of a few people i know. but then decide not to. i close orkut again.
i check my emails. recheck them. check all my other email accounts. no new mail. just the ordinary penis enlargement spam mails. i check my penis. i dont think it has a shamefully small size. i conviniently delete those emails.
my head is falling on one side. i think i have mild cold. my nose is blocked. my head aches. i want to go to sleep again. but i cant.
i am missing her. a lot. i think of calling her. but she'd be asleep. i focus on something else. i dont want to wake her up. cant let others suffer with me.
i finally think of writing this blog. do you guys have any idea how i am feeling at the moment? argh!