an unwanted email
dear maYa
i know i shouldnt be writting this email to you. but i cant help it. i miss you. i miss you too much to contain myself any longer. you have no idea how i feel. even i didnt know after so much time lapse, i would still have the same feelings for you. maya, i guess we just were meant for each other, but it's just not fair we're not together.
i'm listening to coldplay at the moment. do you remember that time? maya? the songs that we listened together. the moments that we spent together. do you remember any of that? do you cry? do you realize our paths are going seperatly? does your heart ache when you think of all that time, and how we'll never be able to spend a single minute with each other now? all those promises we made of being together forever? how do you survive? tell me... how are you living? how do you manage? how can you possibly keep yourself so much occupied with your life? i'm surprised at your ruthless attitude.
anyways. i know you wouldnt bother to ask. but i'm doing fine. carrying on my life without you. thinking about you almost all the time. i'm broken and hurt from inside. i've broken up from all my friends and links that had the slightest association with you. i've got a new group of friends. i've even left this city.
but today when the plane landed back here, i could just feel you all around me. the memories of good old time haunted me! i felt like listening to your voice. i felt like coming up and meeting you. but i couldnt do all that. all i did was head back home, tired, fatigued, wishing so much that you'd be there for me.
this city haunts me. it is full of your memories. everywhere i go, everyplace i visit, reminds me of how we had spent hours sitting here and talking about our future. why? all i want to ask is why did you have to go and leave me? are you happy? how can you be happy? your love cries for you, how can you be satisfied with that? you said you'd never leave me. you said we'd be partners forever, in good times and bad times. maya. how do you have a peaceful sleep in the night?
something really strange happened today. i promised myself not to think about you for even a minute. i promised to keep myself very busy. i got my car and went to do some shopping for myself. i picked a friend of mine after his office hour to hang out with him as well. as soon as i entered the mall, God played this trick on me. I saw you coming, maya, right in front of me. you wore dark blue glasses. you looked classy. you had make up all over your face, you had an arrogance around you. you didnt seem to have the slightest guilt feeling in your heart. you walked proudly. you had a smile too on your face. i dont know if you deliberatly ignored me, or you just didnt see me standing there right in front of you. you just passed by me. you had the same j-lo fruit fragrance! and you left the mall from the same door i had entered a minute back. i had a mild heart attack right there i guess.
my breathing stopped for a while. emotions overwhelmed me. my knees started shaking and i couldnt stand up any more. i dont know why that happened. i never knew love can be fatal for your heart as well.
tell me. maya. was that a fake smile on your face? do you feel proud about your past? does it give your ego a boast?
anyways. i know i shouldnt be writting this email to you. what's the use of bringing back the old grieves. you dont love me. neither do you want to hear from me that i love you. but i'm so sorry. i'll always be in love with you. u've captured my present and stolen my future. i'm helpless.
i know i shouldnt be writting this email to you. but i cant help it. i miss you. i miss you too much to contain myself any longer. you have no idea how i feel. even i didnt know after so much time lapse, i would still have the same feelings for you. maya, i guess we just were meant for each other, but it's just not fair we're not together.
i'm listening to coldplay at the moment. do you remember that time? maya? the songs that we listened together. the moments that we spent together. do you remember any of that? do you cry? do you realize our paths are going seperatly? does your heart ache when you think of all that time, and how we'll never be able to spend a single minute with each other now? all those promises we made of being together forever? how do you survive? tell me... how are you living? how do you manage? how can you possibly keep yourself so much occupied with your life? i'm surprised at your ruthless attitude.
anyways. i know you wouldnt bother to ask. but i'm doing fine. carrying on my life without you. thinking about you almost all the time. i'm broken and hurt from inside. i've broken up from all my friends and links that had the slightest association with you. i've got a new group of friends. i've even left this city.
but today when the plane landed back here, i could just feel you all around me. the memories of good old time haunted me! i felt like listening to your voice. i felt like coming up and meeting you. but i couldnt do all that. all i did was head back home, tired, fatigued, wishing so much that you'd be there for me.
this city haunts me. it is full of your memories. everywhere i go, everyplace i visit, reminds me of how we had spent hours sitting here and talking about our future. why? all i want to ask is why did you have to go and leave me? are you happy? how can you be happy? your love cries for you, how can you be satisfied with that? you said you'd never leave me. you said we'd be partners forever, in good times and bad times. maya. how do you have a peaceful sleep in the night?
something really strange happened today. i promised myself not to think about you for even a minute. i promised to keep myself very busy. i got my car and went to do some shopping for myself. i picked a friend of mine after his office hour to hang out with him as well. as soon as i entered the mall, God played this trick on me. I saw you coming, maya, right in front of me. you wore dark blue glasses. you looked classy. you had make up all over your face, you had an arrogance around you. you didnt seem to have the slightest guilt feeling in your heart. you walked proudly. you had a smile too on your face. i dont know if you deliberatly ignored me, or you just didnt see me standing there right in front of you. you just passed by me. you had the same j-lo fruit fragrance! and you left the mall from the same door i had entered a minute back. i had a mild heart attack right there i guess.
my breathing stopped for a while. emotions overwhelmed me. my knees started shaking and i couldnt stand up any more. i dont know why that happened. i never knew love can be fatal for your heart as well.
tell me. maya. was that a fake smile on your face? do you feel proud about your past? does it give your ego a boast?
anyways. i know i shouldnt be writting this email to you. what's the use of bringing back the old grieves. you dont love me. neither do you want to hear from me that i love you. but i'm so sorry. i'll always be in love with you. u've captured my present and stolen my future. i'm helpless.
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