in search of inner satisfaction

i'm sleeping a lot over here. sleep at around 9 and then wake up at 530 in the morning. i can hardly recall the time when i used to sleep at 9, that was when i was about 10 years old. i used to watch airwolf and knight rider back then, and before sleeping, my thoughts were usually of nick knight (i hope i remember the name correctly) kicking the crap out of the villians. once baba brought us an airgun, and i just couldnt sleep in the night cuz’ of excitement.  i just wanted the night to passby quickly so i could get my hands on that brand new airgun. oh and also, my dreams had lots of those 3 fingered monstors from that war of the world series.

 

but now, when i lie on my bed, my past haunts me. i dont think about my present day events. i think of my past. my last 2 years to be more specific. i think, and think, and cry, and cry. and even my dreams are reminisces of the past, not a dream based on some tv serial.

 

some say your past is always beautiful. i dont agree. maybe my past has been turned ugly because of some recent events. but i want my present to be beautiful and i think i am on the right track. i am happy till yet, but i don’t know if this is the contention i yearn.