sleeplessness

i watched fight club long time back. then i watched it again, and again; so many times that i have its dialogues memorized. it was an awesome movie by the way.
insomnia is a bitch. in insomnia, you arent really asleep, and you arent really awake.
now i guess i know what he meant.i'm in the same state of mind at the moment. i am very sleepy. yet i cant sleep.
i turn on my computer again. log onto msn. nobody is online. log off.
i log on to orkut. try to scribble junk in scrapbooks of a few people i know. but then decide not to. i close orkut again.
i check my emails. recheck them. check all my other email accounts. no new mail. just the ordinary penis enlargement spam mails. i check my penis. i dont think it has a shamefully small size. i conviniently delete those emails.
my head is falling on one side. i think i have mild cold. my nose is blocked. my head aches. i want to go to sleep again. but i cant.
i am missing her. a lot. i think of calling her. but she'd be asleep. i focus on something else. i dont want to wake her up. cant let others suffer with me.
i finally think of writing this blog. do you guys have any idea how i am feeling at the moment? argh!

all that really matters...

... is the time we spend together and knowing we love each other.

--- and about the other trivial stuff we have to figure how it would work out

Zubair Siddiqui

and i need you
and i miss you
and now i wonder
if i could fall
into the sky
do you think time
would pass me by
cause you know i'd walk a thousand miles
if i could just see you... tonight

~~ A Thousand Miles by Vanessa Carlton

my dear blog

i’m sorry. i really am. i’ve not been able to give you all those counts that you deserve, even though i so much want to. i’m sorry for giving you false hopes, that one day i’d have a great collection of my pictures on this blog. i’m sorry again, for all those many fake hopes upon which i’ve kept you alive. i’m really sorry.

please don’t take it wrong, i am not going away from you. i’m just once more asking you to have faith in me, one day i’ll return, and post out of this world experiences, mind blowing stories and put up breath taking pictures; and we’ll have lots of fun together. I hope you are not upset anymore, and besides, think on the positive side, i so much want to be with you always yet these stupid worldly affairs always take up all my time. from now onwards, i promise, it’ll just be me and you. and i promise it wont be just another promise.