Zubair Siddiqui

the 17th december 2011

2012-01-06T00:13:00.002+05:00

Eiliyah, my second sweetheart, comes to daddy today! :)

this post is for the record only.

2010-12-14T18:02:00.001+05:00

I dont feel like writting this but whatever.
I was coming back from my office in the evening near site area where a couple of dakoos on foot knocked the windows and asked for the wallet, cell and watch. We gave it to them without any second thought.

It keeps on worsening...

2010-08-12T14:16:00.000+05:00

So my wife took out money from the bank and they chased her all the way till home. Total loss this time : rs. 230,000 only. :-(

all good things come to an end

2010-06-03T10:59:00.002+05:00

and so does my tenure in P&G.

so what did i learn @ P&G?

- decisions that i make impact us for years to come. i have to be very meticulous in calculating all risks, advantages, disadvantages, etc. in making any decision.

- professional mastery! :) this is something that will add much more value to my career than anything else.

and other than these, a lot many small other things. but right now, i'm focused on the future ahead! adios!

second brush with death

2009-07-27T23:37:00.002+06:00

the first one was when i was traveling to daharki in my car & a slow moving truck suddenly moved in the fast lane while i was just overtaking it.

the second incident was not with me ... but i was so closely involved & in someway would have been held responsible that it gives me the creep. we were at sandspit in the company beach hut when a huuugggeeee tsunami like wave hit us and carried 2 of us in deep sea. they were VERY luckily saved by some God sent angels (some fisherman getting bored) there.

i'll remember myself running behind them towards the deep sea full of adrenaline pumping in my blood and stopping just halfway realizing i cant go behind them beyond this point - it'll be just suicidle. i'll remember the crazy thoughts coming to my mind in splits of seconds and myself calculating beyond my normal ability all possibilities of saving the situation.

thank Allah Almighty we were saved both the times without anything major - & only we'll know how serious the situations really were.

The Procter & Gamble Company

2009-07-01T23:47:00.003+06:00

did i ever mention in my blog i'm working for P&G since december 2007 -

it's been one of the most amazing time frame of my life in all regards.

billie jeans

2009-07-01T01:08:00.002+06:00

she was more like a beauty queen from a movie scene
i said dont mind, but what do you mean i am the one
who will dance on the floor in the round
she said I am the one who will dance on the floor in the round

She told me her name was billie jean, as she caused a scene
then every head turned with eyes that dreamed of being the one
who will dance on the floor in the round

..

people always told me be careful of what you do
and dont go around breaking young girls hearts
and mother always told me be careful of who you love
and be careful of what you do cause the lie becomes the truth

......

billie jean is not my lover
shes just a girl who claims that I am the one
but the kid is not my son
she says I am the one, but the kid is not my son

~ billie jean by michael jackson. RIP. :(

third encounter

2009-01-23T01:18:00.002+05:00

it's getting so ordinary now, even i cant believe myself. same old story. a guy with a gun robs someone off his valuables.

so this time i was returning back home from boat basin pizza hut with my wife&daughter at around 1100 in the night when a guy on bike overtook my car from the wrong direction at a very fast speed. this startled me a bit and naturally my focus went on him who was driving right in front of me.

he went near another biker on the road and while on the road still driving he takes out his gun and points at the poor fellow on the other bike.

i slowed down my car at first. not knowing what to do, but then i thought it's better to call 15 and tell them about the incident. also i thought it would be wise to follow the robber at a safe distance and give the police exact location of where he is so he can be caught for sure.

dissapointingly, the police emergency line was engaged. i kept trying dailing and also chased the robber who was driving his bike still in front of me when on the road i saw a police mobile. i shouted and told the police what happened and the mobile chased the bike and surprisingly caught hold of the robber.

no matter how small this little incident might look like to all the others but it gave me a very strange feeling of happiness from inside!

har chehra

2009-01-10T03:51:00.002+05:00

aisaa
koi hamay mila nahi
kay dikhain jisay
tu dil yeh kahay
bus hay yahee

~har chehra by vital signs. my tribute to the legands!

living through the threat

2008-09-25T18:44:00.001+06:00

the marriot bomb blast shaked the capital city 5 days back. being in karachi - i didnt realize what impact it would have on the people of islamabad till today when i had to come to islamabad on a business trip.

i expected security to be more vigilant - and that is how it was. but what i didnt expect was the fear instilled in the heart of people.

literally - i saw policemen standing at some distances from each other. their faces were somber. they were stopping cars for random checking and the way each car was stopping was also showing the general attitude: fear!

there were more blockades. more silence. more seriousness in the air. i think the terrorist succeeded in their objective: rising terror.

i went to serena hotel - the guards stopped me seeing the black hp laptop bag hanging on my shoulder. only one of the guard stepped forward to check me while others stepped back -

after assurance that i had no bomb in my bag i moved forward. i couldnt help but notice that several guards that 'tasbeeh' in their hands. one of the hotel staff standing at the gates had the most nervous face - constantly he was mumbling something - probably reciting his prayers.

on my way back to karachi - there was a security threat at the islamabad airport. all flights are delayed and i am sitting in a corner writting this post. it's horrible. heavy police outside - again, random checking of cars - policemen with nervous faces (i think i've seen them nervous for the first time in my life).

i hope everything comes back to normalcy soon.

twice!

2008-08-13T15:54:00.002+06:00

i couple of guys took away my cell phone and other valuables in an armed robbery, on an open street in a crowded place. before i write down the details of the incident, my mind was drifting towards this industry economy:

let's do some calculations
number of cell phone users in pakistan: 77 million
average cell phones stolen every year (let's keep an average of 1 phone every 2 year): 77 * 0.5 = 38.5 million
average cost of cell phone = 5,000 rs.
stolen cell phone industry turnover = 5000*77,000,000= 385 billion rs.

that's roughly 5 billion dollars+. with this amount, you can easily finance your election campaign, build mansions in dubai, london, new york, etc.

anyways, this is how it happened:
the time is around 9:45pm and i'm returning back to home in my car when my wife says we need to buy mangoes for home. i stop at a nearby grocery stall in dehli colony. as soon as i am done paying for the mangoes, an average looking guy (looked like a typical karachiite) came very close to me, pointed a gun at my belly and asked me to give him my cell phone. it took me less than 2 seconds to understand what's happening, so i very calmly gave him the phone. he then asked for money - i took out my wallet, took out all the cash from it and gave him that. he asked if i had any more with me, and i showed him my empty wallet. he searched my pant pockets if i was telling the truth. he also held my wrist and had a good look at my watch - somehow he didnt like the seiko i was wearing, so he didnt ask for it. so after finding nothing in my pockets, he asked if the lady sitting in the car is with me - and i said yes she's with me. so he went to my wife and asked her for rings, necklaces, bracelets, etc. unfortunately she was wearing some good amount of jewellery in her hands - which they gladly took away. they wanted to search more in the car which had my laptop and my wife's purse, but then i told them 'dude, i think you've had enough' and he looked at me and smiled, and said 'really?' and i said 'yes'. he maintained his smile and said 'oh well, okay' and sat on a motorbike which was driven by an accomplice and drove away. without making much fuss of the situation, i went back to the grocery stall, took the mango bags, and drove away too.

this was the second such incident with me in 4 years time. it really didnt excite me to purchase 5 kgs of mangoes for rs.70,000/.

wicked game

2008-05-25T00:59:00.002+05:00

the world was on fire
no one could save me but you
strange what desire will make foolish people do
i never dreamed that i'd meet somebody like you
and I never dreamed that i'd lose somebody like you

no, i don't want to fall in love
no, i don't want to fall in love
with you
with you

what a wicked game you play
yo make me feel this way
what a wicked thing to do
to let me dream of you
what a wicked thing to say
you never felt this way
what a wicked thing to do
to make me dream of you

and i don't wanna fall in love
and i don't want to fall in love
world was on fire
no one could save me but you
strange what desire will make foolish people do
i never dreamed that i'd love somebody like you
i never dreamed that i'd lose somebody like you

no i don't wanna fall in love
no i don't wanna fall in love
with you
with you

nobody loves no one

~Wicked game by Chris Isaac. Amazing song, even amazing is the video.

kashf

2007-09-25T20:27:00.000+05:00

twenty third august two thousand and seven. the day my lovely daughter kashf was born. never had i thought i'd be so much blessed by Him Almighty! thank you God for everything!

guru

2007-09-18T22:51:00.000+05:00

i know my blogging has been erratic, eccentric,irregular, haphazard and everything similar. see, the thing is when something really inspires me worth blogging, i blog about it. and today's inspiration is an indian movie: guru. amazing movies these indians make! first it was rang de basanti and now guru. a great heart-warming movie.
highly recommended.

finally i've got some free time in hands and i will hopefully write some more ramblings soon.

there is more to life

2007-07-13T00:34:00.000+05:00

than to just mourn on your losses. you lose, you learn from it, and you move on. instead of feeling remorsed, you should be glad from the experience.
i've starting putting up this philosophy at work and at home. i just cant be kept down now. i've put this positive change in myself, and i'm sure people around me will start appreciating these changes.

return of addiction

2007-07-02T00:49:00.000+05:00

i've been playing starcraft-broodwar again!! the only difference is i'm no good at it anymore, and it's obviously understandable when i am playing after 6 good years. i think i wont get addicted to it this time. i am too busy for this thing now.

fatigue

2007-06-28T01:07:00.000+05:00

all you want to do is lie down and relax. you know you have too many tasks at hand but just dont have the energy to do any of them. you just want to go to sleep... and in your dreams you are doing all those daily tasks you left behind.

storm of the century

2007-06-25T21:23:00.000+05:00

now that we will be trapped in our houses for most of the time of the day, i suggest we rent out some good movies and spend some good hours away from frustration and cursing karachi. storm of the century is one highly recommended movie. it's the only hollywood movie i've seen over 4+ hours. must watch!

coming back to life

2007-06-25T01:12:00.000+05:00

where were you when i was burned and broken
while the days slipped by from my window watching
where were you when i was hurt and i was helpless
because the things you say and the things you do surround me
while you were hanging yourself on someone elses word
dying to believe in what you heard
i was staring straight into the shinning sun

-- 'coming back to life' by pink floyd

Sunset at Sandspit.

2006-11-05T20:52:00.000+05:00

A great way to relax and ease yourself after a tough week at work. A night at your hut near the beach, from dusk till dawn.

Happy Ramzan.

2006-09-27T23:52:00.000+05:00

May this Ramzan be a good one for the Muslim community and may it bring us all closer to Allah.

Ameen.

resuming!!!

2006-08-21T22:42:00.000+05:00

21 August. I was working in Sui last 21st August. And I have no idea where i'll be on 21st August next year. Life's moving fast!

milestone.

2006-07-06T20:59:00.000+05:00

it's been almost 2 months to my marriage. and yes, i am absolutly loving it.

khulbuli

2006-05-08T12:01:00.000+05:00

this is another sequel to my marriage and rang de basanti post. i am so glad i loved this movie so much. and now i am kind of getting bored of the movie and it's songs. but hey, whenever in the future i would listen to the songs of this movie, it would remind me of these sweet days.
today is my wedding day. and i've been advised by everyone not to do any strenuous work. so here i am, getting bored; watching tv, chatting and blogging!
hope to see you all tonight at the ceremony!

rang de basanti

2006-05-03T00:55:00.000+05:00

i've seen this movie a trillion times but still i am not fed up of it. i am simply in love with the first half of the movie. where they enjoy like anything the time of their life.
and i am also getting prepared for the time of my life. it's just after 5 more days. days are getting longer and nights are endless. i miss her already .. a lot.
i hope time passes away quickly.

wedding bells

2006-04-29T00:39:00.000+05:00

well in pakistan the wedding ceremonies are not celebrated with cute sweet bells but with loud bold 'dhoool dhamakas'.
the point of writting this post is to inform you guys all that i am getting married on 8th of May 2006.
btw, is anyone still reading this blog? :S

resuming

2006-04-12T01:05:00.000+05:00

today and the month previous and since the time i've not written on my blog, a lot of things have happened in my life. I have simply not been able to take out some time to update my poor little blog. so if any lost reader is still reading this, accept my apologies, soon you shall be getting lots of news through this channel. later. bye

bored part II

2006-02-25T18:28:00.000+05:00

The weather is nice. But i can not go out, because i dont have a car.
The absolutly wrong decision of selling my car is getting on my nerves now.
Here i am, blogging about nothing. Let me check what's on TV now. ...

boring

2006-02-23T20:20:00.000+05:00

i'm thinking of something to write but my mind is so empty at the moment i cant think of anything. i want to keep posting something or another but the work really drains all my thoughts and energy to do anything. so i guess that's it. the latest stuff for my blog!! finally thought of something to write on! :)

zinda houn

2006-02-15T20:19:00.000+05:00

ye hai meri kahani
khamosh zindagani
sannata keh raha hay
kyon zulm seh raha hay
ek dastaaan purani
tanhai kee zubani
hay zakhm khil raha hay
kuch mujh say keh raha hay

chubtay kantay yadon kay
damaan say chunta houn
girtee deewaron kay
aanchal main zinda houn

bus ye meri kahani
benishan nishanee
ek dard beh raha hay
kuch mujh say keh raha hay

[bajaye pyar kee shabnam meray gulistan main
barastay rehtay hain har simt maut kay saaye
siyahiyoon say ulat partee hain meri ankhain
koi nahin koi bhi nahee
jo bataye kitnee ujalon kee rah dekhon ga
koi nahee hai koi bhi naheee
na paas na duur
ek pyar hay dil ki dharkan
apni chahat ka jo ailaan kiye jati hai
zindagi hai jo jiye jati hay
khoon kay ghoont piye jati hai
khaab kantoon say siya jati hai]

ab na koi paas hai
phir bhi ehsaas hai
diyahiyoon main uljee pari
jeenay kee ek aas hay
yadoon ko jungle ye dil
kantoon say jal thal ja dil

...

~~ "Zinda houn" by strings. brilliant song! it brings back the memories of the past, of the day, of the moment, when i had met her!
and i so much wish she had never come in my life.

V - the final battle

2006-02-14T23:16:00.000+05:00

i loved this tv seriel. it was about lizard like aliens who had come with a plan to invade earth. they had this huge disk-shaped mothership that floated just outside earths' boundaries. the aliens wore human skins and made the earthlings believe they were just like them. but some people disclosed their secret somehow and showed everyone how meanlooking, cruel and bad-intentioned these aliens really were!....
it was such a good seriel. i wonder how i remembered it today.... :P
and regarding news about nothing, i am very sleepy and exhausted!

work tommorow

2006-02-09T18:23:00.000+05:00

i m so excited. it seems like my first day at work ever. i have to iron my clothes, trim my hair and nails and stuff like that. so see you guys tommorow at work. byee!

monotonous or systematic?

2006-02-08T12:47:00.000+05:00

whatever you call it, but i believe some degree of monotony should be a part of your daily life. waking up early in the morning is really very important for your physical and mental well being. so from today onwards i pledge that i shall be an early birdie and wake up early in the morning no matter what!

blogging absence

2006-02-07T18:24:00.000+05:00

sorry for being such a bore, but my life is in turmoil at the moment. let me smoothen some things out and i'll return to my normal blogging.

Eid mubarak

2006-01-11T12:29:00.000+05:00

happy eid mubarak everyone!

Year 2006

2006-01-01T12:43:00.000+05:00

Happy New Year folks!!

everyone everywhere is talking about new year resolutions, so i’ll try to come up with some resolutions for myself as well. :P

i) hmmm let’s see…. my foremost resolution is not to make resolutions. because resolutions bind a person and a bounded person is never happy.

ii) spend every moment being happy.

iii) live in the present.

iv) not waiting for events to happen but making events happen for myself.

v) forget about the previous years.

vi) be strong and optimistic.

vii) err.. i guess yea, that’s pretty much it.

so let’s see if i am able to stick to my resolution.

Au Revoir 2005

2005-12-31T14:43:00.000+05:00

I could see it all; I have each and every dialogue lingering in my mind and the scenes imprinted on my heart. This whole year seemed to pass away at super-fast speed, leaving behind memories. Good and ugly, both.

It looks like just a few months back incident. It was chilly January but I didn’t feel cold because my blood was boiling. I was upset. I was mad. I was going insane. Why was all that happening, is a long story. But I’ll remember January 2005 as the worst month of my life. It appeared that I would die of depression. But, the month passed, and I lived.

Looking back at the year 2005 – I did actually accomplish a lot of things. It was a year full of events. I read dozens of books, exercised a lot, sold my car, completed my MBA, and made new friends. I started working again from February. I found a good friend at my new workplace. My twenty-sixth birthday on the 8^th of March was the best birthday ever. April bought me good news. I switched my job and joined PPL. I gave my final exams in May. I started playing sports in June; I tried to play tennis, badminton, table-tennis & squash. I also played snooker. July was spent studying for the comprehensive exam for MBA. My younger stud brother came to Karachi on vacations in July; I spent the best time with him. I played tennis for long hours in the evening, and also under lights in the night during August. September was the month when my father came back from SA to visit me. He was glad I had improved considerably since the last time he saw me in January. Though he was still worried. He went back, and I also left for another visit to Sui. October, November & December were spent playing sports, mainly badminton and tennis. The best event however happened on the twenty-first of October, and I’ll remember that day for a very long time.

This year I’ve learnt that life is depressing if it is spent thinking about past, and frustrating if thinking about future. Life is a gift if it is spent in present. Just enjoy whatever you have today, and for future worries, there is a tomorrow to come!

And finally, the best person of the year award goes to: You know who you are! =). Thank you so much for being there. If it hadn’t been for you, there would have been something left incomplete in me. You are the best there ever can be.

ode to my car

2005-12-23T15:16:00.000+05:00

last night in my dreams, i saw that i was in my home and i wanted to go out at some friend’s place. i got my car keys and stepped outside my home to see my car is not parked outside the gate. i looked around searching for my car, but was unable to find it. and i got very worried, frustrated and panicked --- and woke up.

unfortunately, this was not just a dream. i have sold my car. and it seems such an unbelievable thing i did in haste without much thinking.

at first, while making the deal, i didn’t think of all the aspects that ought to be considered. i sold off my beauty, measuring the worth of my car in monetary terms only.

what i didn’t consider was the emotional tag attached to my car. how could i be such a plain stupid?

my old gray beautiful suzuki mehran. i shall always remember you as my first and the best car. i can still smell your fragrance all around me. i can visualize your steering wheel, fitting so perfectly in my hands. i can see you moan in pleasure when i pressed the accelerator. i can feel myself inside of you. OK. i guess this is a going in the other direction, but seriously, i never knew i would miss my car this much.

i should have at least taken a lot of pictures of my old beauty with myself; just for old time sake. the events, the memories, the places, the dramas, the traumas, the accidents and the incidents associated with her are something that just can’t be rubbed away from my mind. the music i listened in her will always remind me of my car. the chicks (& fishes) that used to sit with me in my car and always nagged about not having an air-conditioner are making me angry now. it was my sweet car. you used to sit in it with me. you enjoyed the time with us. the car never broke down on us. all of you left me, this car never did. this car was more loyal to me than you materialistic fucks!

i love you my dear sweet car. i know i’m being over-emotional, but how can i just forget you. you were the best. you never broke down on me, even though i abused you and tortured you with all those crazy driving experiments and deliberate ignorance on your repairs.

je t’aime, my sweet old car. i hope you get a better driver than myself…

kim

2005-12-22T11:04:00.000+05:00

…

i hate you!

i hAte You!

i swear to GOD I HATE YOU!

<sob>

oh my god… I love you…

<sob>

how the fuck can you do this to me

how the FUCK DID YOU DO THIS TO ME!

…

~~ by eminem in ‘kim’

the alchemist

2005-12-17T08:11:00.000+05:00

by paulo coelho. this book is one of the most inspiring books i have ever read. the story is about a boy who goes off on his adventure aspiring for his dream to come true. in the venture he travels through deserts, markets, dunes and meets thieves, kings and alchemists. during his travel, he loses everything he has in his possession; and that is when he has to show his strong faith in his dreams and the passion to achieve them.

in some way, the boy in this book reminds us of ourselves at one stage of life. we have had dreams and we have had the initial beginners luck towards attainment of our dreams. but our weak will power made us leave the life of our dreams and live the life of mediocrity.

that is when our dreams come to a stop once our heart knows the soul within us is dead.

In my heart

2005-12-13T01:41:00.000+05:00

lord I want
to be up
in my heart

be
ohh
just in my heart, oh lord
just in my heart, oh lord...

~~Moby's 'In my heart'

the song i am occupied with these days.

my typical day

2005-12-10T01:57:00.000+05:00

i wake up at around 1000. go to banks, offices, random places where i have to get my morning work done. and then come back to home around 1300. have my lunch which the maid prepares for me. watch tv for a while. play a game on my computer or go to my sister's house. go out with my friends who come back from work at around 1800. roam around the whole city with my wonderful friends. come back home around 2300. and then do some chatting on msn. and go to sleep at around 0300.

sometimes life is just wonderful!! no stress, no worries!

girls

2005-12-09T23:55:00.000+05:00

i wont be highly intellectual and philosophical claiming i know a lot about girls and giving advices and shit like that. i'll just be babbling, like i always do.

i met this sweet girl. she thinks i am sweet too.

and that's the end of story.

lolololol...

what a loser... :D

depuis qu’otar es parti (since otar left)

2005-12-06T02:31:00.000+05:00

no no no... i'm not learning french or russian or anything like that at the moment.. it's just that i went to watch this great film show at alliance francaise today. i dont know what got into me to actually go watch a movie in a language i dont understand at all, but nevertheless the movie was real fun and the plot was interesting, thanks to the english subtitles.
yesternight, i saw an urdu show "chobees ghantay" and that was equally amazing.
events like these just fuel the spark i still have in my heart for arts and stuff. amazing stuff. if you've not been to any show of kara film fest, well just do it before it's over!!!

An Equal Music

2005-11-27T12:23:00.000+05:00

by vikram seth. this book is about a guy's undying love for music and a girl; both of which he lets slip off his hands.
i would recommend this book to those people only who have a lot of interest in classical music. and to those who have proven themselves to be a complete idiot in a relationship.
this book made me depressed too. but it was a very nice read till the end; the effects of the story are still lingering in my head.

the next book i have in my hand is paulo coelho's the alchemist.

Zubair Siddiqui

2005-11-04T10:12:00.000+05:00

to all my dear freak, weirdo, gay, homo, hetro, metro, trans, straight, ugly, pretty, mediocre, super, normal, smart, cool friends...

happy eid mubarak!!!

The Orange Girl

2005-11-03T10:44:00.000+05:00

'when we awoke the sun stood high in the sky. she was the first to stir, and i'll never forget what it felt like to be woken by her. i could no longer tell what was imagination and what was reality; perhaps the borderline between them didnt exist anymore. all i knew was that i was no longer wondering about looking for the orange girl. now i had found her.'

-- excerpt from 'the orange girl' by jostein gaarder

because no two oranges are alike...

2005-11-02T13:22:00.000+05:00

the orange girl ... by jostein gaarder, has become one of my all time favourite books. it's simply wonderful, sweet and cute!
guys, a sincere advise, if you want to gift a nice book to your girls, this is the right book!
the story is built around, as the name suggest, the orange girl. once you start reading this beautiful love story, you will not be able to resist the temptation to read it till the very end. the cute mysterious orange girl has a charisma that is very difficult to resist. a must read.

for my next-next read, i want to have sophie's world by the same author. my next read is lying on my bed side; 'an equal music' by vikram seth.

sleeplessness

2005-10-28T03:08:00.000+05:00

i watched fight club long time back. then i watched it again, and again; so many times that i have its dialogues memorized. it was an awesome movie by the way.
insomnia is a bitch. in insomnia, you arent really asleep, and you arent really awake.
now i guess i know what he meant.i'm in the same state of mind at the moment. i am very sleepy. yet i cant sleep.
i turn on my computer again. log onto msn. nobody is online. log off.
i log on to orkut. try to scribble junk in scrapbooks of a few people i know. but then decide not to. i close orkut again.
i check my emails. recheck them. check all my other email accounts. no new mail. just the ordinary penis enlargement spam mails. i check my penis. i dont think it has a shamefully small size. i conviniently delete those emails.
my head is falling on one side. i think i have mild cold. my nose is blocked. my head aches. i want to go to sleep again. but i cant.
i am missing her. a lot. i think of calling her. but she'd be asleep. i focus on something else. i dont want to wake her up. cant let others suffer with me.
i finally think of writing this blog. do you guys have any idea how i am feeling at the moment? argh!

all that really matters...

2005-10-23T23:24:00.000+05:00

... is the time we spend together and knowing we love each other.

--- and about the other trivial stuff we have to figure how it would work out

Zubair Siddiqui

2005-10-21T03:58:00.000+05:00

and i need you
and i miss you
and now i wonder
if i could fall
into the sky
do you think time
would pass me by
cause you know i'd walk a thousand miles
if i could just see you... tonight

~~ A Thousand Miles by Vanessa Carlton

my dear blog

2005-10-19T11:28:00.000+05:00

i’m sorry. i really am. i’ve not been able to give you all those counts that you deserve, even though i so much want to. i’m sorry for giving you false hopes, that one day i’d have a great collection of my pictures on this blog. i’m sorry again, for all those many fake hopes upon which i’ve kept you alive. i’m really sorry.

please don’t take it wrong, i am not going away from you. i’m just once more asking you to have faith in me, one day i’ll return, and post out of this world experiences, mind blowing stories and put up breath taking pictures; and we’ll have lots of fun together. I hope you are not upset anymore, and besides, think on the positive side, i so much want to be with you always yet these stupid worldly affairs always take up all my time. from now onwards, i promise, it’ll just be me and you. and i promise it wont be just another promise.

--

2005-09-29T09:24:00.000+05:00

There was this movie I saw once, in which there was a break-up scene. The girl was crying; and so was the guy. They both loved each other a lot, but circumstances were such that they just couldn’t live together anymore. So they both had to part. The girl, wanted to end the relationship nicely, sweetly, slowly, painlessly. The guy also wanted that. So they tried getting apart from each other slowly, but the further they moved on from each other, the uglier the relationship got between them. The more they suffered, and more painful it got.

In my opinion, there is no such thing as a friendly breakup. Otherwise there isn’t a breakup at all. If you want to end your sufferings, just cut the strings with a sharp scissor. Just say a nice good bye once and for all, and let it go. Free yourself!

And if you want to be together, don’t let anything in the world stop you.

I guess I am an extremist.

eleven minutes

2005-09-26T15:13:00.000+05:00

paulo coelho. now this dude thinks he knows everything there is to know about sex. though he hasn’t met me yet! lol! this book is really astonishing. it’s based on the life of a brazilian prostitute, maria (aren’t all brazilian women prostitutes btw?? lol atleast this is the impression i get from all these internet porn sites! :D). the theory of sacred prostitute is discussed in this book. sacred? lol! my ass. anyways, the author thinks prostitutes can be sacred and he has written a whole 275 page story to prove his point. nevertheless, it was fun and this book is highly recommended for pleasure reading. and oh for those people who get impressed very easily, don’t read this book, otherwise you might turn out to be a prostitute or gigolo :P not that it’s something very bad, just that it’s wayyyy toooo sacred for me! :P

the devil and miss prym

2005-09-19T15:00:00.000+05:00

The book is brilliantly written and Paulo Coelho is amazing! Once you started reading the book, it grabs your attention till the very end. It’s about a young girl whose conscious is put to test by the devil: to kill any person in her small village and in return, she’ll get fortune for herself which is plenty enough for herself and her generations. Her refusal to the bid incites the devil to challenge the whole village, and the village does choose a victim in lieu of the promised fortune. This novel is absolutely thought inciting and well worth the read. My next book is eleven minutes by the same author.

12th Septmeber, 2005

2005-09-11T23:59:00.000+05:00

i always used to wonder what people ever get from phone sex... hehehe..

captain

2005-09-05T16:26:00.000+05:00

crazy as i may make my way through this world
it's for no one but me to say what direction i shall turn
i am the captain of this ship
curious hands and fingertips
day after day how i long for you my love, how i long

-- lyrics from 'captain' by Dave Matthews Band. Amazing song.

true happiness

2005-08-31T23:34:00.000+05:00

defination: a) losing your weight from 87kg to 84kg. b) your 36size pants dont fit you at all. c)your 34 waist trousers seem lose. d) people look at you and say 'man you look really shaped up'.

2005-08-31T15:18:00.000+05:00

each indecision brings its own delay
and days are lost lamenting over lost days
what ever you can do or think you can do, begin it
for boldness has magic, power, and genius to it

i read it somewhere; and i don’t agree with it.

i must admit i’ve made lots of bold/rash decisions in life and i’ve not seen any magic or power or genius to it. decisions that matter most must be made after putting lots of thoughts to it. and once the decision has been made, lobbying should also be started to make things work out in your favor.

dear fucking stalker

2005-08-30T15:29:00.000+05:00

I’m really flattered; to tell the least of my feelings. At first you gave me a good ego boost. But now, it’s kind of irritating. You go around everywhere disclosing my secrets. You dig out stuff I do and put up all sort of allegations against me. Can’t really say I hate this grandeur of yours; in fact, it’s so nice of you to do that. While you are trying your best to denigrate my character; I’ll tell you what, I’m a bit thankful to you for helping me realize my true friends. Those who don’t really trust me, give into the gossip you spread, and that’s when I know where my relationship with them stands. And I don’t give half a fuck to your vile jabbers.

Apart from that, I must admit I’m a little pissed off at your weenie ways. I don’t understand your fucking fascination with me. You’d never get anything from this stunt you’re pulling. Does it give you some satisfaction when you defile my reputation? Slandering my image? Putting up false accusations? Do you feel content in your heart assuming you’ve given me a lesson to learn? Is that really the objective of your tiny existence? You need to widen your horizons and roam around a little, maybe that’d give you some fresh air that you need to get off of my tail. Be the free spirit you were born with and stop lurking around rummaging my secrets. Or probably you just need to wank a little less so that your mind veers in some other paths too.

just wondering...

2005-08-27T10:36:00.000+05:00

since i’ve been blogging via email and not having web access to blogger.com, i wonder if the company’s disclaimer would also be appearing to all my posts. if it is, then it reaaallly sucks! sorry for the mess. i’ll clean it up when i’m back in karachi after a couple of days! hmmpzz sad.

blower's daughter

2005-08-24T09:34:00.000+05:00

and so it is

just like you said

it would be

life goes easy on me

most of the time

~ ‘blower’s daughter’ by daniel rice. my favorite song these days. ost closer

somebody saveeeeee me...

2005-08-23T12:32:00.000+05:00

heheeh… i think i’m obsessed with smallville. i’ve watched the first season and intend to watch the second season starting tonight. initially i thought it was the typical superman story where he goes off saving cats trapped on trees but as the plot thickens, the series is getting fun to watch. the best part of this series is the cool sound track. i never thought i’d admit it, but the first season of smallville really is worth it.

the mourning day

2005-08-15T13:20:00.000+05:00

14^th august: natives wore black dresses to express their grievances and black flags fluttered on their roof tops. 58 years back pakistan came into existence and their lives became full of miseries. i’m not commenting on their rightness in their stance, but just implying that there are millions of people here who absolutely abhor this nation. i’m also one of them, yet still living and breathing here. i guess that makes me a hypocrite.

so it is..

2005-08-11T16:26:00.000+05:00

yesterday night was too good, mainly because i slept late again and watched a wonderful movie that pumped up some strange inspiration in me. i’m here at work but still watching the movie on my laptop for the second time. hehe. here is my favorite scene… a breakup… lol. sad you cant have the video/audio here…i’m just typing the text! the husband starts off when he finds out his wife has been sleeping with someone else…

husband: ‘is he a good fuck?’

wife: ‘don’t do this.’

‘just answer the question, is he good?’

‘yes!’

‘better than me?’

‘different!’

‘better?’

‘gentler.’

‘what does that mean?’

‘you know what I mean.’

‘tell me.’

‘no.’

‘i treat you like a whore?’

‘sometimes’

‘why would that be?’

‘i’m sorry, you are…’

‘DON’T SAY IT! DON’T YOU FUCKIN’ SAY IT! “you are too good for me”, i am, but don’t say it. you are making the mistake of your life!! you are leaving me because you believe you don’t deserve happiness, but believe me you do, anna!

……

did you have bath because you had sex with him? so you wouldn’t smell of him? so you’d feel less guilty? how do you feel?’

‘guilty’

‘did you ever love me?’

‘yes’

husband: ‘did you do it here?’

wife: ‘no.’

‘why not?’

‘do you wish we did?’

‘just tell me the truth.’

‘yes, we did it here.’

‘where?’

‘there’

‘on this?’, pointing towards the couch.

‘we had our first fuck on this. did you think of me?’

‘when?’

‘when did you do it here?’

‘ANSWER THE QUESTION!’

‘this evening.’

‘did you come?’

‘why are you doing this?’

‘cuz’ i want to know.’

‘yes, i came.’

‘how many times?’

‘twice.’

‘how?’

‘first he went down on me and then we fucked…’

‘who was where?’

‘i was on top then he fucked me from behind’

‘and that’s when you came the second time?’

‘god, why is this sex so important to you?’

‘CUZ’ I’m A FUCKING CAVEMAN!! did you touch yourself while he fucked you?’

‘yes.’

‘you wanked for him?’

‘sometimes’

‘and he does?’

‘WE DO EVERYTHING ThAT PEOPLE WHO HAVE sEX DO!’

‘do you enjoy sucking him off?’

‘yes’

‘do you like his cock?’

‘I LOVE IT’

‘Do you like him cumming on your face?’

‘YES’

‘What does his cum taste like?’

‘IT TASTES JUST LIKE YOURS BUT SWEETER’

‘That’s the spirit. Thank you. Thank you for your honesty. Now fuck off and die. You fucked up slag!’

lololol... i know i have a lot of free time at hand. guess the movie!

whew

2005-08-09T09:30:00.000+05:00

a presentation today all drained me up. thank goodness it’s done and I am back to my normal sluggish self! :D yaaay.

today i intend to watch the movie ‘closer’. and then chill and sleeeeeeeeep long till morning.

i don’t know, but whoever said ‘all the goods things in life are either unethical or immoral’ defiantly doesn’t know the pleasssure in sleeeeeping after a hard day’s work.

late sleeping

2005-08-06T08:21:00.000+05:00

i love and hate late-sleeping. love it because there is no substitute time of late night serenity where only you can be yourself with your thoughts. And hate it because I couldn’t wake up early for work. I woke up good 2 hours late and that too by the phone call of my boss. lol.

but anyways, last night was wonderful even though i wouldn’t mistake keeping myself awake till so late again. kept listening to new songs; organized my laptop harddrive data; read old chat logs; wrote the next section of my book; and let my memories drown into the past. and when i finally slept, my dreams were like alice in wonderland…lol.

all aces

2005-08-03T15:24:00.000+05:00

i’m totally in love with tennis now. my coach said i should also concentrate on other shots as well rather than just on my ace serves. lolz. whatever. as far as i am winning points, i cant seem to care much. besides, its all about winning! who plays for the sake of good sportsmanship here anyways.

apart from tennis, my other passions are tennis.. tennis….. and tennis. so i guess that’s it… the new love of my life (till i start losing badly! as usual! hehe).

back

2005-08-01T10:16:00.000+05:00

“It is unfortunate that the eyes have lids but the ears don't”

i’m back to work. sad. lol.

munch on this thought for a while till i think of a proper blog theme for the month of august! :)

my believe

2005-07-30T04:38:00.000+05:00

change is brought about by God; everything will perish.
whatever happened was for good.
whatever happenening is for good.
whatever shall happen will be for good.
what did you loose that you cry?
what did you bring that you lost?
what did you create that perished?
whatever you got, got it from here.
today what is yours;
was someone else's yesterday;
will be someone else's tommorow.

ineffable

2005-07-27T17:22:00.000+05:00

certain emotions, feelings, moments, etc. just cant be described in words. like e.g. for me sitting idle on my huge pc chair whole day long doing nothing; sleeping on my own will; waking up on my own will; and having no worries about days to come.
i just finished watching the movie: the legends of baggar vance. will smith played a role of a sweet angle. lol. so much unlike his usual character. the movie was all about golf and golf. :P it was a nice movie for me because i absolutly adore golf, but if you arent a golfer maybe you might not like it.
i'll come back on blogging after spending a few more days of idleness... lol lets see if i enjoy it the same...

life for rent

2005-07-26T01:25:00.000+05:00

i haven't really ever found a place that i call home
i never stick around quite long enough to make it
i apologize for once again i'm not in love
but it's not as if i mind
that your heart ain't exactly breaking

it's just a thought, only a thought

but if my life is for rent and i don't learn to buy
well i deserve nothing more than i get
cuz' nothing i have is truly mine

i've always thought
that i would love to live by the sea
to travel the world alone
and live more simply
i have no idea what happened to that dream
cuz' there's really nothing left here to stop me

it's just a thought, only a thought

but if my life is for rent and i dont learn to buy
well i deserve nothing more than i get
cuz' nothing i have is truly mine

while my heart is a shield and i won't let it down
while i am so afraid to fail so i won't even try
well how can i say i'm alive

if my life is for rent and i don't learn to buy
well i deserve nothing more than i get
cuz' nothing i have is truly mine
cuz' nothing i have is truly mine

-- 'life for rent' by dido

black tulip

2005-07-20T14:44:00.000+05:00

a very well written suspense fiction. alexendar dumas had based the book in a 1667 environment at haarlem, holland. the story revolves around a great black tulip, a man and his mistress. the man is jailed for life on conspiracy charges, and it is then when he thinks his life is over, he finds the love of his life, rosa; and discovers his beautiful tulip as well. it’s only when you have suffered a lot of pain, you truly realize what happiness is. without ups and downs, the life seems all empty. so i guess that was my last book for this trip, as i’ll be in karachi after a few hours. and dude, where’s the party yaaarrrrr?! it’s crazy time now.

whateva!

2005-07-19T15:42:00.000+05:00

AFAIK As Far As I Know NRN No Reply Necessary

BRB Be Right Back OBTW Oh, By The Way

BTDT Been There Done That OMG Oh My God

BTW By The Way OTOH On The Other Hand

GAL Get A Life OTT Over The Top

HHOJ Ha Ha, Only Joking PITA Pain In The Arse

MOTOS Member Of The Opposite Sex POD Piece Of Data

IMHO In My Humble Opinion ROFL Rolls On Floor Laughing

IWBNI It Would Be Nice If RTFM Read The Flipping Manual

JAM Just A Minute RUOK Are You OK

NIFOC Nude In Front Of Computer TIA Thanks In Advance

Wtf …

laptop

2005-07-17T11:07:00.000+05:00

i cant wait to get my hands on my new laptop. till I don’t get it, i don’t feel like blogging from this huge old fugly desktop.

Death

2005-07-09T15:00:00.000+05:00

You would know the secret of death.

But how shall you find it unless you seek it in the heart of life?

The owl whose night-bound eyes are blind unto the day cannot unveil the mystery of light.

If you would indeed behold the spirit of death, open your heart wide unto the body of life.

For life and death are one, even as the river and the sea are one.

In the depth of your hopes and desires lies your silent knowledge of the beyond;

And like seeds dreaming beneath the snow your heart dreams of spring.

Trust the dreams, for in them is hidden the gate to eternity.

Your fear of death is but the trembling of shepherd when he stands before the king whose hand is to be laid upon him in honor.

Is the shepherd not joyful beneath his trembling, that he shall wear the mark of the king?

For what is it to die but to stand naked in the wind and to melt into the sun?

And what is it to cease breathing, but to free the breath from its restless tides, that is may rise and expand and seek God unencumbered?

Only when you drink from the river of silence shall you indeed sing.

And when you have reached the mountain top, then you shall begin to climb.

And when the earth shall claim your limbs, then shall you truly dance…

--- From “The Prophet” by Kahlil Gibran

the three musketeers

2005-07-07T15:21:00.000+05:00

messieurs athos, porthos and aramis were the three musketeers; and monsieur d’artagnan was the gascon who ends up being their lieutenant general. almost all of their adventures started off with a rudimentary insult, and ended on sword fights. there wasn’t much twist in story though; but the anticipation kept on building on the villainess, mme’ milady clarik who was in the end killed by our brave men. this was a bit difficult read for me because alexander dumas had written this novel in half-medieval english.

the book was written in 1850s and needless to say, it had no profanity in it even though the story revolved around 4 young men and their mistresses who lived in paris. and not a single filthy word was used! and the word gay was used for happy!! eewwwl!! how very gay!! so anyways, i’ll safely recommend this book to class 6 readers.

and besides, the swash buckling narratives in this book reminds me of monkey island - mi1, mi2, mi3 and mi4. my sweeet governess elaine marley… sigh…

dawn 1st july 2005

2005-07-01T15:25:00.000+05:00

.... the oil companies advisory committee has increased the price of petrol by Rs3.41 to Rs48.94 while the oil marketing companies have raised the diesel price by Rs2.68 to Rs31.74 per litre....

dudes, don’t worry. i’m almost done digging and let’s hope we find some good oil reserve! :P

bed time stories...

2005-06-28T14:46:00.000+05:00

aright we are big enough so now we don’t listen to bedtime stories. but at the bedtime we spend hours playing kasoti. now if i were in karachi, i would have never played this game, with so much fervor, but here it is a totally different issue.

rasputin, the great russian healer; shah raza, the iranian ruler who was overthrown;

cleopetra, helen of troy, daroog-e-rizwan, kalashnikov, marlyn monroe, edhi, fatima bhutto, ama bi, bano qudsiya, kevin peiterson, aga hasan abedi, kofi annan, micheal schumacher, faryal gohar, hatim tai, marco polo, alexender the great, ibn-e-batota… and many more, have been used. now we are short of great and difficult personalities. so any good personality you have in mind that i might put up on the table tonight???

or perhaps some other better bedtime activity? And please don’t respond with the first thought that comes to your mind….

daily ramblings...

2005-06-26T09:38:00.000+05:00

i just realized how our prayers work. they don’t work directly. they work indirectly. you ask God for something in life, and he’ll give you an opportunity (which you yourself will have to realize) upon which you’ll have to work really hard to get that thing you initially asked for. so basically, if you want .. say… big muscles, he’ll show you the path to the gym! lol.

and man i am tired of going to gym everyday. yesterday my coach asked me to take a rest. And he also forbad me from playing squash and tennis at the same time. he said it’s important for a beginner to concentrate on just one sport at a time. oh well!! i guess i’ll choose tennis for the next 15 days.

2 more crapppppy books

2005-06-24T10:40:00.000+05:00

that’s right. full of crap. windmills of god and tomorrow never comes.

shitney sheldon suckeths big time!

windmills of god was no doubt one of the worst novel i have ever read. the plot was absurd. and as usual, every one in the novel was the bad guy except for the heroine and his guy. this time, however, the heroine was a 36 year old lady with two kids. and oddly, the author didn’t describe in detail the figure of the heroine. at 36 i suppose there is nothing left to describe.

tomorrow never comes was comparatively better and by far one of the best novels by shitney sheldon. the plot was catching and kept the reader on the edge. our heroine kept robbing millions of dollars worth of art and kept adopting methods which are only possible in sheldon’s fiction. this heroine was a 28 year old lady with big bums and boobs to die for. hmm.. i can imagine… or maybe i cant! :S

anyways, enough with this author. i’ll not read the books by him ever again unless it’s a matter of life and death. right now, i’ve got alexendar dumbas’ “the three musketeers”.

Daily True Story Digest No. 278

2005-06-23T15:49:00.000+05:00

23^rdJune, 2005

News Room – District Command Station.

Operation canine has been launched, which is unfurling towards a major war the world has never seen before. It all started when a few horny bitches getting tanned in the sun suddenly attacked us few brave men proceeding towards the club. The few brave men however, at that moment, defended themselves with their tennis rackets. The assailant’s counterpart, dogs, growled and swore to come up with a better attack plan next time. The humans, shrieked in fear.

Today, the war has been declared by the humans, to eliminate terrorist and establish democracy and freedom. Plans to eliminate the enemy and their strongholds are being put into execution. Assassins have been brought here, along with their ultimate lethal weapon: The Sweet Mao.

Now this Mao is like a small bundle of food that is put in front of dogs, and when the dogs eat it, they die after 6~8 hours. It’s a safe way to kill dogs, because in the first 3~4 hours, the poor animals don’t know they have been poisoned, and after that they start to feel drowsy/sleepy and still do not know till they die in their sleep. I wonder if they would know then that they’d been poisoned.

After finding a dog, the assassin places the food in front of dog and watches as the dog eats the delicious meal. And the meal is so delicious that when it is thrown to another dog, the dog that has already tasted the meal snatches the meal from the weaker one. And sometimes, the weak dogs get to eat none, and they are the one who survive and woe revenge: We’ll be back!

the sky is falling

2005-06-19T08:05:00.000+05:00

the plot was plain stupid. sidney sheldon’s heroine seemed to be the only smart person in the world, everyone else was just simply dumb. she was the only one who was able to figure out things. unlike other sidney book’s, this one had just one sex scene and two nudity scenes! lol. and then the poor heroine also had mastectomy. omg! such a cruel author.

for this week, i have two books at hand: “if tomorrow comes” and “windmills of god” by the same shittttty author. i’ll see which one to devour first.

snooker tale

2005-06-17T10:15:00.000+05:00

Yesterday I got to know I don’t have a conscious, even though I suspected this long time back. I went to the snooker room last evening and it was totally empty. I tried playing alone but got bored. So I thought of summing up my conscious and playing with him. I tried a lot, but my conscious just wouldn’t show up. So finally I had to play with my brother, and thank goodness he was not busy elsewhere. I would play one shot myself, and would play the next shot on behalf of my brother. My brother started winning and I had to cheat to bring our scores at par. Eventually, as the game reached the final stages, it got tough and the last winning shot was pocketed by my brother. It was an excellent shot: a delicate cut to pocket the pink ball in the middle and potting the black in the corner one.

Anyways, it was a tough game and I shouldn’t be feeling so bad about it. My bro played very well and he deserved to win. Today however I look forward to playing with some real player and kicking some real ass!

24 hours

2005-06-16T14:59:00.000+05:00

That’s a lot of time. It’s equal to a full day! And now I have realized what 1 whole day means!

One whole day for me means that I can go to work, offer my prayers, eat 3 meals a day, spend time on blogging and creative writing. Read newspaper and spend lots of time trying to solve the crossword puzzle. Play tennis and do some exercise. Play snooker. Eat evening brunch. And also, read a good novel before hitting the bed! And yet still have some free time thinking of what to do!!

By the way, these days I am reading Sidney sheldon’s “the sky is falling”. It’s very boring but I don’t have any better read in hand at the moment. Please recommend some good books for future reading folks!

omg!

2005-06-14T15:16:00.000+05:00

my boss expects me to work hard! hehe… man he’s so naïve. and on top of that, he said he is very happy to see me back!! he says now he can chill back and relax while i share some of his burden. lol. he is over expecting.

but the sad part is, my subordinates are also gone on vacations, and the work is kind of piling up… i have to think of something quick to get out of this situation!

the solution i have in my mind for now is to waste as much time as possible during office hours and work late hours just to impress my boss and show him how hard working i am and how much efforts i am putting in getting the work done!

balouchi names...

2005-06-13T15:48:00.000+05:00

ahar kora sobha pagan washoo dilmurad polad doost hadey lakhmeer hizbullah dhani piara shahkloo wansra magsi hazar mouj baran jalam nodan qaim saido soba tabraiz nowroz khudadost eid laloo pirok badroo bahadin razoo bux rahamdil tawak ilamdin walayat jamam khamisa pannah mewa miran darya jawand zarif nozani rino sammandar soosa samand bahir bakhat basham bhair daulat juman dilwash dosteen parpooha shahi hidaitullah hajoo dhobi rozi mandost khandoo rajas ghaloo mosan leeni quzafi nakifo phondal dhano dina suafa tota…

a few balouchi names i have encountered so far. this also means i am back on work, and as usual i am finding ways to kill time!

breaking my heart

2005-06-13T00:49:00.000+05:00

i'm on the floor
counting one minute more
noone to break the silence
staring into the night
all alone, but that's alright
it's the feeling, deep inside
i dont like...

there's no excuse my friend
for breaking my heart
breaking my heart, again

this is where our journey ends
for breaking my heart again

-- "breaking my heart" by mltr.

finally!

2005-06-07T23:19:00.000+05:00

i here by swear upon the spirit of my broken pc chair (yeah, it did finally give away!)that i shall not blog uselessly and shall not bicker endlessly about my daily life.

this blog needs to get some direction. and i'll find it very soon. keep waiting. lol.

and this promise is effective right after this post: i gave my exam today and finally i feel like a free spirit. my feelings can not be described in words. it was the easiest, yet the toughest paper of my whole masters career.

lol.

the scientist

2005-06-07T12:05:00.000+05:00

come up to meet you, tell you I'm sorry
you don't know how lovely you are
i had to find you, tell you i need you
and tell you I set you apart
tell me your secrets, and nurse me your questions
oh let's go back to the start
running in circles, coming in tails
heads on a science apart

nobody said it was easy
it's such a shame for us to part
nobody said it was easy
no one ever said it would be this hard
oh take me back to the start

i was just guessing at numbers and figures
pulling the puzzles apart.
questions of science, science and progress
don't speak as loud as my heart.
tell me you love me, and come back and haunt me,
oh, when I rush to the start
running in circles, chasing tails
coming back as we are.

nobody said it was easy
it's such a shame for us to part
nobody said it was easy.
no one ever said it would be so hard
i'm going back to the start.

-- "The Scientist" by Coldplay. one of my all time favourites. reminds me of sweet times. sigh...

...waiting...

2005-06-06T23:49:00.000+05:00

somebody has stolen my mojo and that's why this week my mood has been ugly, sad, depressed, gloomy, miserable....
on the better side, i am looking forward to lots of things, like
killing myself and ending it all!

lol.. neh.. just kidding.. i'm all cool. all i want to do is find back my mojo and enjoy the shagadelic life.

vicious cycle

2005-06-04T19:41:00.000+05:00

days are just too short these days.

mornings are well slept!
afternoons are spent in surfing the net, checking mails, flirting around, having fun on internet!
evenings are spent roaming around the city with friends and nights are spent at friends appartment doing all sort of good things in life!
late nights are spent talking on phone or chatting on net again.

that's it. my complete schedule. :) wonderrful rite?

you can never tell

2005-06-03T02:50:00.000+05:00

it was a teenage wedding, and the old folks wished them well
you could see that pierre did truly love the madamoiselle
and now the young monsieur and madame have rung the chapel bell
c'est la vie, say the old folks, it goes to show you never can tell

they furnished off an apartment with a two room roebuck sale
the coolerator was crammed with TV dinners and ginger ale
but when Pierre found work, the little money coming worked out well
c'est la vie, say the old folks, it goes to show you never can tell

they had a hi-fi phono, boy, did they let it blast
seven hundred little records, all rock, rhythm and jazz
but when the sun went down, the rapid tempo of the music fell
c'est la vie, say the old folks, it goes to show you never can tell

they bought a souped-up jitney, 'twas a cherry red '53
they drove it down to Orleans to celebrate the anniversary
it was there that pierre was married to the lovely madamoiselle
c'est la vie, say the old folks, it goes to show you never can tell

-- "pulp fiction" sound track by chuck berry

thats me

2005-06-02T04:42:00.000+05:00

aright. after lots of introspection, i must admit: i am a bad influence. but i am not a bad person. i am not pious, and do lots of bad things too, but whatever i do is very much my own personal business. i do not go around hating people. i do not hurt peoples life. i am a very honest person.

but i cant help it when people get inspired by all the things i do. they think sin is cool. i tell them it's not cool, but they think it's even more cool to say it's not cool. stupid amateurs. stupid kids. when will you ever learn?

so if you think my influence is a bad impact on your poor immature mind, stop being impressed by me. i dont give a shit about whatever you think!

forever

2005-06-01T01:03:00.000+05:00

Forever, forever I'll be, forever holding you.
Forever, forever I'll be, forever holding you,

Responsible.

-- by cranberries in "forever yellow skies"

memories

2005-05-30T06:59:00.000+05:00

my memories are the best thing i have. these memories are associated with different places, cuisines, movies, events, but most importantly music! i can chose to go back to any time period by just playing the apporpriate music...

i'm listening to enrique iglesias's escape.. "you can run you can hide but you cant escape my love... " was something someone used to sing me quite often. we used to roam around the city, and in her car this song used to play almost all the time....

back in the good ol' days... i saw you as soon as i entered in the class, waiving me to come and sit beside you and then whispering "how was your day, tried calling you so many times!"... and wait for the class to end so that we can finally have some nice conversation together, and then going back into the empty classroom to have some nice privacy...

at the end of the day you'd ask if i came in my car to the university, and i would lie that i havent got my car today, just so that i could get a ride back home with you! and after being dropped home, the music to my ears would come to a stop and i'd take a cab back to university to fetch my car!

stupid me! :)

my friends

2005-05-30T06:28:00.000+05:00

i have a long list of friends. from my school, my college, my two universities, my various work places, my neighbourhood, and some a good number of other friends who cant be directly associated with any of these places.

of course, i am not in touch with each and every of my friend, but i sure do miss them and remember them. so if any of my friend is reading this, whom i am not in touch with, please be assured, i keep you near and dear in my heart, even though these worldly distances may be keeping us far apart.

i'm listing down the name of those people, who have been close to me as on 30th may 2005.

1. rizwan riyaz
2. omair shareef
3. dr. zubair ayyub
4. rashida soni
5. madiha saleem
6. sarah mansoor
7. nida salauddin
8. kashif anwar
9. umar siddiqi (you almost thought i forgot you huh? guess what? i almost had! lolz)
10. afsheen bakhshi
11. .. i am missing peoples name.. there are lots of other people who are very near to me.. but i guess i've not met you guys lately so that's why your name is not here! i miss u all.
12. qamar abbasi! yup!
13. yasir, my lil' bro, my best friend
14. bhaijan, my bro, my second best friend. lolz.
15. baji! my sweetest friend!

and i do feel very proud on each and every one of you. i have the chosen friends and the best friends. you guys are all gems and have talents whcih just cant be explained in simple words!

thanks for being there for me.

untitled

2005-05-30T06:04:00.000+05:00

with every moment passing, my thinking, my philosophies, my believes are shaping into something better. i’ve started believing that life is about being happy. there will be challenges and there will be great obstacles and even complete blockades. but i guess that’s the whole fun part about it.

life is just too short and unpredictable to be wasting away even a single moment being sad. enjoy your life as much as you can because you will not be given an opportunity to turn back time. just take every moment and consider it a beautiful gift. and count yourself as a very, very lucky person because you have been granted this extended gift.

routine day

2005-05-25T07:13:00.000+05:00

i'm partially bored while still enjoying my vacations in karachi. see, thing is, i have lots of time at hand, and very few issues to attend to.
so most of the time, i dont know what to do. i just roam around in the house first, turning on the TV, and then going through all the 88 channels twice, and then turning off the TV again. this whole excersize takes about 10 minutes max. seldom do i find anything good on tv. and the star plus is the most yuckiest channel. everytime i turn it on, i see some plastic coated aunties and girls fighting over pity issues of the 18th century. i just know it is going to be one of my those days when i cant find anything decent coming on the TV.
then i roam around in the house, turn on my computer monitor and start chatting with some friend. i get bored within 15 minutes again. the chat is always the same, but with different people. what's up dude, how are you doing? havent seen you since lots of days. and so on. i turn off the monitor again, pretty quickly.
i fiddle with my cordless phone and with my cell phone. i run through the list of my friends in the back of my mind and chose some appropriate person to call whom i havent spoken for quite some time. i call him up, and the typical is always spoken.. i say "i've been really busy dude, too much work and all, just got some time at hand and thought of calling you up" and so on. this activity again takes some 15 minutes.
i've successfully spent some 45 minutes of the hour. the rest 15 minutes are spent walking within the house thinking of what to do.
and then again, the whole process is repeated. i turn on the tv, and start toying with the remote...
what wonderful vacations!!

damn!

2005-05-24T19:37:00.000+05:00

i hate being ill! it's just so much waste of time. you always feel fatigued to do anything. all you do is just lie in the bed and look at the ceiling with some random coughing.
your body is burning hot, yet you feel cold. you have 2 blankets over yourself, and you are perspiring. you cant take off the blankets because you feel too cold otherwise. all you do is keep drinking lots of water. and the water too, has a very ugly taste!
your breathing is also not normal. you take deep breaths and you become noisy. you cant sleep because of your own breathing sound half the time.
and the worst part of being ill is: there is noone to take care of you.
you have to be strong, go to hospital yourself, have your medicine yourself, else you will just keep on rotting in this condition!