Au Revoir 2005

I could see it all; I have each and every dialogue lingering in my mind and the scenes imprinted on my heart. This whole year seemed to pass away at super-fast speed, leaving behind memories. Good and ugly, both.

It looks like just a few months back incident.  It was chilly January but I didn’t feel cold because my blood was boiling.  I was upset.  I was mad.  I was going insane.  Why was all that happening, is a long story.  But I’ll remember January 2005 as the worst month of my life.  It appeared that I would die of depression.  But, the month passed, and I lived.

Looking back at the year 2005 – I did actually accomplish a lot of things.  It was a year full of events. I read dozens of books, exercised a lot, sold my car, completed my MBA, and made new friends.  I started working again from February.  I found a good friend at my new workplace.  My twenty-sixth birthday on the 8^th of March was the best birthday ever.  April bought me good news.  I switched my job and joined PPL.  I gave my final exams in May.  I started playing sports in June; I tried to play tennis, badminton, table-tennis & squash.  I also played snooker.  July was spent studying for the comprehensive exam for MBA.  My younger stud brother came to Karachi on vacations in July; I spent the best time with him.  I played tennis for long hours in the evening, and also under lights in the night during August.  September was the month when my father came back from SA to visit me.  He was glad I had improved considerably since the last time he saw me in January.  Though he was still worried.  He went back, and I also left for another visit to Sui. October, November & December were spent playing sports, mainly badminton and tennis.  The best event however happened on the twenty-first of October, and I’ll remember that day for a very long time.

This year I’ve learnt that life is depressing if it is spent thinking about past, and frustrating if thinking about future.  Life is a gift if it is spent in present.  Just enjoy whatever you have today, and for future worries, there is a tomorrow to come!

 

And finally, the best person of the year award goes to: You know who you are! =).  Thank you so much for being there.  If it hadn’t been for you, there would have been something left incomplete in me. You are the best there ever can be.

ode to my car

last night in my dreams, i saw that i was in my home and i wanted to go out at some friend’s place.  i got my car keys and stepped outside my home to see my car is not parked outside the gate.  i looked around searching for my car, but was unable to find it. and i got very worried, frustrated and panicked --- and woke up.

unfortunately, this was not just a dream.  i have sold my car.  and it seems such an unbelievable thing i did in haste without much thinking.

at first, while making the deal, i didn’t think of all the aspects that ought to be considered.  i sold off my beauty, measuring the worth of my car in monetary terms only.

what i didn’t consider was the emotional tag attached to my car.  how could i be such a plain stupid?

my old gray beautiful suzuki mehran.  i shall always remember you as my first and the best car.  i can still smell your fragrance all around me.  i can visualize your steering wheel, fitting so perfectly in my hands.  i can see you moan in pleasure when i pressed the accelerator.  i can feel myself inside of you.  OK. i guess this is a going in the other direction, but seriously, i never knew i would miss my car this much.

i should have at least taken a lot of pictures of my old beauty with myself; just for old time sake.  the events, the memories, the places, the dramas, the traumas, the accidents and the incidents associated with her are something that just can’t be rubbed away from my mind.  the music i listened in her will always remind me of my car.  the chicks (& fishes) that used to sit with me in my car and always nagged about not having an air-conditioner are making me angry now.  it was my sweet car.  you used to sit in it with me.  you enjoyed the time with us.  the car never broke down on us.  all of you left me, this car never did.  this car was more loyal to me than you materialistic fucks!

i love you my dear sweet car.  i know i’m being over-emotional, but how can i just forget you.  you were the best.  you never broke down on me, even though i abused you and tortured you with all those crazy driving experiments and deliberate ignorance on your repairs.

je t’aime, my sweet old car. i hope you get a better driver than myself…

kim

…

i hate you!

i hAte You!

i swear to GOD I HATE YOU!

 

<sob>

 

oh my god… I love you…

 

<sob>

 

how the fuck can you do this to me

how the FUCK DID YOU DO THIS TO ME!

…

 

~~ by eminem in ‘kim’

the alchemist

by paulo coelho. this book is one of the most inspiring books i have ever read.  the story is about a boy who goes off on his adventure aspiring for his dream to come true.  in the venture he travels through deserts, markets, dunes and meets thieves, kings and alchemists.  during his travel, he loses everything he has in his possession; and that is when he has to show his strong faith in his dreams and the passion to achieve them.  

in some way, the boy in this book reminds us of ourselves at one stage of life.  we have had dreams and we have had the initial beginners luck towards attainment of our dreams.  but our weak will power made us leave the life of our dreams and live the life of mediocrity. 

that is when our dreams come to a stop once our heart knows the soul within us is dead.

In my heart

lord I want
to be up
in my heart

be
ohh
just in my heart, oh lord
just in my heart, oh lord...

~~Moby's 'In my heart'

the song i am occupied with these days.

my typical day

i wake up at around 1000. go to banks, offices, random places where i have to get my morning work done. and then come back to home around 1300. have my lunch which the maid prepares for me. watch tv for a while. play a game on my computer or go to my sister's house. go out with my friends who come back from work at around 1800. roam around the whole city with my wonderful friends. come back home around 2300. and then do some chatting on msn. and go to sleep at around 0300.

sometimes life is just wonderful!! no stress, no worries!

girls

i wont be highly intellectual and philosophical claiming i know a lot about girls and giving advices and shit like that. i'll just be babbling, like i always do.

i met this sweet girl. she thinks i am sweet too.

and that's the end of story.

lolololol...

what a loser... :D

depuis qu’otar es parti (since otar left)

no no no... i'm not learning french or russian or anything like that at the moment.. it's just that i went to watch this great film show at alliance francaise today. i dont know what got into me to actually go watch a movie in a language i dont understand at all, but nevertheless the movie was real fun and the plot was interesting, thanks to the english subtitles.
yesternight, i saw an urdu show "chobees ghantay" and that was equally amazing.
events like these just fuel the spark i still have in my heart for arts and stuff. amazing stuff. if you've not been to any show of kara film fest, well just do it before it's over!!!